Monday, March 22, 2010

You know how it is. You either make time to blog or it slips. Mine seems to have taken a giant leap off a cliff for all the blogging I've been doing lately. I guess I haven't been particularly creative these days either. But tonight I need to vent a little. I could tell something was on my hubby's mind the minute I got home from work. He had something to tell me. Those of you that know me know that I haven't had a relationship with his family in about two years. Let's just say I'd had just about enough of the controlling argumentative environment that always seemed to hang over our time together. So I put an end to it. Of course there is more to the story than that but these are my biggest issues. So tonight he drops the bomb. "My old man sent me an email about getting together to talk things out." By "talk things out" his stepfather means I yell at you for an hour and you listen. ugh. I know that it hurts my dh to not have a relationship with his mom. Even his stepfather. I know it bugs him that they play him and his brother against each other. I know he hates it when they tell him what to do and how to raise our kids. I know it hurts him that I've been this stubborn for two years because I'm sick of their crap. I also know that when it comes to them he clams right up. If I'm going to do this I need him to take charge of the conversation, to tell them how he feels and that if this time it doesn't change for good that it will be the last. I don't know how to get that to happen. I don't want to disappoint him, and I certainly don't want him to be angry at me for saying no. So, I guess at the moment I have no choice but to go ahead and have our little "chat". Anyone experience anything like this???

4 comments:

Jen said...

Good luck with that one. Maybe it will work this time.....maybe?

Elizabeth said...

I agree with Jen. I know how you hurt as well.lots of luck & love.xo

ck said...

My heart is with you, Samantha. My FIL is a drug addict who lives right down the street from us. My husband winds us stuck between his dad and I when I have enough and need space and want to protect our kids.

I hope everything works out for you. It's so hard when family is messed up.

Jennifer said...

Yep, I totally feel your pain. My in-laws are just charming too. I went for about 2 years not speaking to them, but when I got pregnant with my daughter I reconciled with them to give her two sets of grandparents. But I spend as little tie with them as possible. It's my husband's job to set up times for them to see the kids, his job to buy them cards or presents, as my MIL never even notices that I;ve made her cards, etc. If it's important to your husband to have a relationship with his family, tell him go for it, but YOU don't have to have the relationship if you don't want to. Just because they're family doesn't mean they can wreck your life. GOOD LUCK! I hope it works out and you can find peace with it, so hard to deal with family.