Tomorrow is a BIG day. Drake heads off to junior high. He will not be walked to school on his first day as I have done for the last 8 years. He will not have me there to show him where to line up at the bell to meet his teacher. He will not have all his old friends to find each new class together. He will take the bus, he will make his way to the cafeteria, he will wait awkwardly and quietly by himself until his name is called. He will most likely struggle to find his 8 new classrooms. My heart hurts tonight and may break a little in the morning when I let him go. I know he can do it. He's smart and brave. I know that he is learning independence. I know that he will make friends. I know that after tomorrow he will find his way easier. It doesn't make it easier for me. I will smile through my tears, laugh through my fears, and hug him just a little harder.
Tomorrow is a BIG day. Cassidy heads off to grade 5. She will not be in the same school. She will not have any friends waiting for her. She will not have her big brother there to make her feel just a little safer. She will be the "new kid". She will have to stand with me while all the other kids laugh and talk about what they did all summer. She will feel excluded. My heart hurts for her. I know she will do it. She is a social butterfly. She is smart and caring. She will find her way. Quickly. It doesn't make it easy for me. I will walk her to school. I will smile to block the tears. I will hug her hard enough to last the whole day.
Tomorrow is a Big day. Just me and Quintin. The house will be empty. The house will be silent. There will be no noisy sibling play. No lazy mornings. No carefree afternoons. He will wonder where they are. He will get bored. He will want to go too. That makes my heart hurt.
I will hug him a little harder. I will saver this last year I have him home. I will smile to keep those tears at bay.
Tomorrow is a BIG day.