Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tomorrow is a BIG day.

Tomorrow is a BIG day. Drake heads off to junior high. He will not be walked to school on his first day as I have done for the last 8 years. He will not have me there to show him where to line up at the bell to meet his teacher. He will not have all his old friends to find each new class together. He will take the bus, he will make his way to the cafeteria, he will wait awkwardly and quietly by himself until his name is called. He will most likely struggle to find his 8 new classrooms. My heart hurts tonight and may break a little in the morning when I let him go. I know he can do it. He's smart and brave. I know that he is learning independence. I know that he will make friends. I know that after tomorrow he will find his way easier. It doesn't make it easier for me. I will smile through my tears, laugh through my fears, and hug him just a little harder.

Tomorrow is a BIG day. Cassidy heads off to grade 5. She will not be in the same school. She will not have any friends waiting for her. She will not have her big brother there to make her feel just a little safer. She will be the "new kid". She will have to stand with me while all the other kids laugh and talk about what they did all summer. She will feel excluded. My heart hurts for her. I know she will do it. She is a social butterfly. She is smart and caring. She will find her way. Quickly. It doesn't make it easy for me. I will walk her to school. I will smile to block the tears. I will hug her hard enough to last the whole day.

Tomorrow is a Big day. Just me and Quintin. The house will be empty. The house will be silent. There will be no noisy sibling play. No lazy mornings. No carefree afternoons. He will wonder where they are. He will get bored. He will want to go too. That makes my heart hurt.
I will hug him a little harder. I will saver this last year I have him home. I will smile to keep those tears at bay.

Tomorrow is a BIG day.


Lori said...

It will most likely be harder on you than on the kids. As parents we can't help but feel anxious for our them. I remember feeling that way when my kids were younger. I would worry all day and then they would come home so happy and excited. What a waste of day for me!!! So hang in there. They will be just fine :)

Jen said...

The tears are streaming freely down my face. I know they are yours but man I love those kids of yours and Today is a big day. I should have gotten out of the car to hug YOU a little harder.

Jennifer said...

What wonderful journaling! I hope you are printing this out to put on a layout-it is so poignant and heartfelt. HOpe it all went well for all of you!

ck said...


But you did.

What a beautiful post.

You've got some lucky kids there. Not everyone gets a mom like you.

JennP said...

I hope it goes well for this today! Your kids will do great! kids have the power to adapt more than us grown-ups. :)

We had our first day today and my daughter didn't even want to be accompanied, she's in grade 2! All went well.

can't wait to hear how it went!

brn2scrp said...

Absolutely awesome journaling. You MUST scrap that.

Back to school is special in our house this year ... for our oldest, it means starting university!! Thank goodness she is staying in town, otherwise I'd be a blubberig mess.

PS - Happy belated anniversary!!

Elizabeth said...

Samantha beautiful"It brougt tears to me.You are a special person.Jennifer&your self are great moms.Loving7giving.Iam lucky to have the tow of you as daughters.Wish I would of read this soner.LOVE you lots.XO